On How to Be Unemployed
My recent experiences notwithstanding, I am no expert on managing unemployment. I’m just a guy who’s made a looooooot of mistakes. Hopefully, a bit of my experience might help you.
We continue to grieve and continue to hurt—even as some are able to move on from another University closure, this time in our own backyard.
As my colleagues and students from Limestone continue to look for pathways forward, they are enduring what I experienced a year ago. No different, just a tad earlier than most of my friends. Worse yet, it was my third go-round in the last seven years. While I am far from an expert on how to manage unemployment, I have a pretty solid degree from the School of Hard Knocks.
You can find much published experts on the topic, many of whom make $50k or more to offer their “wisdom.” All I offer is some fairly traumatic survival stories and finding hope on the other side of hardship.
For those facing a job loss or some other type of valley in your life, here are a few suggestions.
Apply—then breathe. Let’s face it. Looking for a job these days could be a full-time job! Tailoring your resume, filling out the application that asks for all the info ON the resume, cover letters, After all, how do you think “headhunters” make a living?
Sure, you need to fill out applications. But staring at the screen and clicking can drive you nuts. Do not let that consume you. Spend a morning (or a day) submitting, but take the afternoon (or the next day) off.
Keep busy with something other than job searches. During the breaks from applications, find something worthwhile to make the time matter. I spent multiple months serving as Food and Beverage Coordinator at Chez LeGrand—and it was a pretty glorious experience. To the point that my wife was a little sad when I went back to work. Apparently, coming home to finished laundry, vacuumed floors, and dinner on the table was a nice perk!
Of course, that may not be a thing everyone wants to do. Just find something to add meaning or purpose to your days. Volunteer. Pick up a hobby (a cheap one). Send notes/cards to people you miss. Anything that stimulates the heart and mind.
Remember that your job does not define you, now or in the future. You are more than a hamster turning a wheel for an organization.
Find a part-time gig—even if it’s not in your “field.” Best move I ever made came in my first battle with unemployment. I took a job at a pizza place (as I did in college) that was one of the greatest learning experiences of my life. (Seriously, that post is worth it). Do not let your pride get in the way of keeping busy and perhaps making a little money. A little humility can bring a lot of valuable lessons.
Read something you would never have time to read otherwise. After my unfortunate dismissal from the now-defunct Limestone University, I picked up Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Ethics. I started it six months previous, but never finished. I took the opportunity to wrap up more than half of this brilliant text.
Okay, so maybe German theologians martyred in World War II aren’t your thing. If you’re going to be PICKY about it…
But surely there is some piece of literature that you always wanted to read and never had the chance, because “work.” Pick up that book. OR just read and comment on the World’s Worst Pastor blog!
And finally…
Own the trauma. The thought will come into your head that, “As soon as I get a job, it will all be better and go back to the way it was.”
It won’t. Sorry for the negative vibes, but it will never be “the same” again.
Do not be afraid to acknowledge that this has been brutal, vicious, unjust, unfair, un-Christian, and perhaps some degree of evil. It is okay to be hurt. And mad. You are going to question yourself, which can ultimately become a good thing. You are going to ask, “Why?” and “What if…” It is unlikely you will find good answers for either. But you cannot pretend the feelings are not present. Some people will bring the spiritual platitudes like, “This is all part of God’s plan” and “Everything happens for a reason” and “God has something better in store for you.” Even if you believe all of this—at least on some intellectual faith level—it may not make you feel much better right now.
One day, you may see and understand how it all came together for good. That process takes time. I spent five years and a lot of money on bourbon before admitting that a new job was not making it better. Perhaps you cannot afford therapy right now. But as soon as you can get it, 10/10 do recommend.
If you cannot do that, then maybe write a letter to the people who caused you to be in this situation. I wrote a 15-pager five years after the fact, and it did me a world of good.
Okay, yeah, I said “finally.” However, as the World’s Worst Pastor, I cannot resist one last thought even after you packed up your stuff and the musicians are ready for the closing hymn.
Bonus. Spend time with people. You have lost relationships. Keep the connections from work that matter most and gather with them when/where you can. Talk through the collective shock and awe. Reconnect with loved ones, friends or family that “the job” might have caused you to neglect.
One of the best things my wife did for me after Round One of this mess is throw a huge birthday party for me. This included friends from every walk of life I ever took. It was a terrific boost to my spirit and encouraged me to press on, even in terrible circumstances. I made a journey to my beloved Camden County. During my most recent unemployment bout, I leaned into family much more and strengthened those relationships.
In short, find your people and be with them. It can be hard but better in the long run.
I am no psychologist. My recent experiences notwithstanding, I am no expert on managing unemployment. I’m just a guy who’s made a looooooot of mistakes. Hopefully, a bit of my experience might help you.
As cliched as it sounds and as hard as it is to believe right now, your faith can help you see more clearly when you get to the other side of this.